Settling.... Is it such a bad thing? 'Don't judge me.' Hard to judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Definition of settling.... to adopt a more steady or secure form of life. I see it as adapting. You never get exactly what you want all the time. When you were younger, that fine and young tenderoni you sought out was probably crazy as hell. Just saying. No one is going to have all the exact attributes that you are looking for in a mate. And, on the other hand, if you find one that comes close, you might have to SETTLE...
Most people have deal breakers. Mine are smoking, stanky sex and no sense of humor. Probably not in that order. You have to work out your own set of deal breakers. If you have too many, you'll probably never find that mate. If you have too few, you'll become that serial dater you despise because you'll move on at the drop of a hat. But I can't blame you if that is your normal. But it would be better if you did possess some deal breakers. May thinning the herd may result in less heartache.
Shanita...
Settling, this is a hard one. Are you settling because the person doesn't meet your standards? Then that begs the question of whether you standards were realistic to begin with. The next issue then, is he close. No one will probably have everything on your bucket list, so don't be overly picky. You need to have standards otherwise it's just charity dating and that can be disastrous.
I don't care for woulda, shoulda, coulda, men (WSC) . Its a real pet peeve. The person is filled with regret. I'm a do, go, try kind of person. Right now I'm facing dealing with a WSC guy... mostly it's been a life of bad breaks..,I too do have my "if only" moments. The difference is I made my peace and have moved on. So now the issue is am I settling in dealing with this guy.....and frankly it depends on what his next move is. I don't have the patience to listen endlessly to regret. My philosophy is accept what is and do what you need to do. If not, for me it's deuces!
David.....
Well, Felicia...... WSC people, I like that explanation. As usual, hindsight is twenty twenty. Settling relies on your ability to be selfish. It is all about you in the long run. I'm not saying be a complete dick about things, just a 51% dick. Ownership does have its rewards. Sounds like you know what you want Shanita!!! So, go out there and get it....