You have a place and they have a place. Decisions, decisions and more decisions. What to do? Where do you spend most of your time? Whose place is bigger? Which living arrangement will work out better? Pets, kids and proximity to work can all play a part. A few years ago, I told a dear friend from Divorce Recovery Class to never get rid of your shit Never, never, never. Her boyfriend wanted her to move away from her kids and grandkids. Move in with him and sell her house and all her stuff.... She still thanks me to this day. Almost every time I see her. What happens when you get into a drag out fight and you just want some space.... Head to your place and chill. Why get rid of that?
Your new reality plays a part too. Since no two people are exactly alike, there will be some appreciable differences between you and your mate. A few years ago, my then girlfriend enticed me to move in with her. It was tempting and I knew it would not work but I was "in love". After two weeks she realized that it was not a good deal for her. She had been divorced for ten years and had not lived with anyone since then. Thanks God I did have a back up plan even though she tried to get me to abandon it totally at first. Once again... keep your own shit. Never and I mean never get rid of it. You might need it some day. Trust me. I've experienced it. It's pretty bad if they kick you out of their own place and you have no where to go. Shit out of luck. Plan your work and work your plan. Never get caught with your pants around your ankles.
On the converse, they move in with you..... That's a whole different horse. Got a friend going through that now. Absolutely no advice on that one. You better have a unique exit strategy. I think you've boxed yourself into a corner. Probably harder to get the spoiled milk out of the fridge.
Shanita...
First of all have a written agreement. Leases work between couples too. It's protection all the way around. Other than that I got nothing. Bad Santa moved in with me and brought all of his stuff plus more when he got here. I got rid of some of my stuff to make room. "We" were building a place together and it met my particular specifications. But, when it came time to move he wanted me to keep my own place.., which financially made no sense. He moved and tried to take all of his goodies with him and I had to put my foot down on that. I had a fully furnished house when he came. When he left I would not have a living room set, dining room chairs. A bed with no mattress, an empty bedroom, no washer and dryer, no televisions and no refrigerator. So some stuff had to stay. I was not in any position to replace everything..,especially at a time when I had to prepare my last cub to go off to college. Did I keep everything? No.., but I kept a lot. Did I say I was a teacher and he was a wealthy physician who could afford to replace these items easily? Does it make a difference? At any rate create a legal document and protect yourself. It's foolish not to do so.
David......
I love the written agreement. It gives both parties ground to stand on if there is a problematic discussion. That's the lawyer in you.... which I definitely know and love.