A topic I have discussed with the girls at work and friends everywhere. I definitely think that it is a wasted emotion in the worse way But, a lot of women seem to have the misguided thought that a little bit of jealously is OK. In what world???? The world is insecure enough without having something else added to it. Maybe a little bit of murder? Maybe a little bit of domestic violence? When is a little bit of bad, good? Nothing ever good becomes of it. Pretty much cut and dry on the subject......
Plus, why would you ever introduce insecurities into a relationship on purpose? Not something a therapist would say is necessary for a man / woman bond.
You Shanita????
Shanita....
Jealousy is a negative emotion. Psychologists say that jealousy may be used to "stimulate" the relationship...and not in a positive way...that it invites “reassuring responses” to try to prevent boredom and possibly strengthen the bonds between two people. But for me, jealousy can also destroy trust and, in the worst cases introduce violence to the relationship. Provoking jealousy reeks of playing games in my opinion. What are some other games that can stimulate you and prevent boredom? Hmmmm...Russian Roulette springs to mind.
If you need to be reassured, wouldn't it be easier to just ask for it? If you are bored aren't there better solutions? It seems to me that this is a dangerous and immature way to approach a relationship. When I am jealous, it definitely stems from insecurity and my self confidence has been undermined in some way. I also find it uncomfortable when my partner is jealous because now I feel he does not trust me. I don't like having to work late and calling constantly knowing the phone will indicate my work number so he knows I'm there. I don't want to worry about him snooping through my phone and social media. I don't want to worry about what he is thinking when I am hanging out with friends nor do I want to curtail time with friends to prevent him from worrying.
Nothing good has every come from making someone feel badly about themselves and to those perpetuating this fiction I would have to ask why they would do something like that to someone they purport to love. I would worry that at some point the other person is just going to get fed up and want something a little less complicated.
David......
I do agree with you here. It would be just easier for the person to ask for what they want in the relationship instead of going through all that jealousy crap. And yes.... trust is the working word here. Do we have the trust for our significant other to have opposite sex friends? That says a lot right there. How many of us are secure in our relationships to say that? I for one, am. If I don't trust you or you me, then we do not need to be together. Just because that last guy or girl you were with violated your trust, don't expect me to have those tendencies too. You're almost saying, "I distrust you a little bit". It's not fair to you or to me.