Shanita......
An ex boyfriend once broke up with me by saying we were better as friends. According to him there was no one he would rather hang out with than me. He called me in the morning on the way to work, at night before he went to bed and he would text and call in between. He wanted to do lunch once a week and maybe catch a movie every week or so. He really was taking up too much time. It was like I was his girlfriend. ..but now he had a pass to run around.
I started writing this a month ago and let it alone. Perspective changes everything. Now I'm cool with being just friends. All the negative stuff and hurt feelings are gone. I'm good now and when I look back at this and other relationships that I maintain friendships with, what it comes down to is whether I actually like the person absent the romance. In fact, yes, sometimes we are better off as friends and the relationship just got in the way of it. Relationships have expectations, friendships just are. How great is that?
David.....
Considering this subject, I feel there is a gender difference here. On average, men can do the friend thing after being intimate more so than their counterparts. Over the past few years I have become friends with a couple of past girlfriends. Most of them are better friendships than when we were dating. I think it was too close to my divorce. Sometimes they even have advice for my pre and post-dating experiences after them. I think we can call that being a friend. We can look past the hurt of why it didn't work out and move on with our lives.
So, I don't see it as wanting their cake and eating it too. To me, that applies to those being intimate with you and with others. That's a whole different subject.
But, let me be totally transparent...... My latest ex girlfriend and I have yet to do the friend thing. It just never came about. I do wish her the best. I just wasn't that guy. Hard to admit but I'm glad we did break up so we could both move on to bigger and better things. I still get a text from her every now and then.
Expectations.... my favorite word Shanita. I love your thoughts on expectations and relationships. Another subject to broach. Or by now, we probably already have.