David.....
Can't people just go about their lives and not create drama all the damn time? I think life is so simplistic without drama and its relatives. Why create chaos where there is none? Some people are dramamongers. Yes, I said it and created the word....I think. Just let the quickest and easiest way between two points be a straight line and not a vector that changes daily. That's my new name for drama.... vector changes. Seems appropriate to me. K.I.S.S. I hate to harp on this subject but it is one near and dear to my heart
So, how do you stop the madness and derail the vector changes???? Don't engage.... I have realized that if you don't engage in the change the v.c. becomes unimportant. A relationship is supposed to be 100 / 100.; both parties giving their all. V.C. can skew those numbers downward quickly. Then, arguments, distrust and jealously start to breed like bacteria in a petri dish. Equanimity is the key.......
Shanita.....
I am trying so hard not to bring issues into my new relationship. Its hard, hard . . . hard, hell its hard for him too. We have triggers and certain acts can be provocative. My triggers have to do with the duplicity I experienced in my last relationship. So if my current paramour's behavior mimics anything I experienced and was troubled by, it can bring out my "crazy." I work hard to tamp it down, but I don't always succeed. I will send a text or make a comment asking an "innocuous" question like "who the fuck is calling you at midnight? . . . why can't you answer?". "Why do you need your damn phone with you in the bathroom?" You know just simple, innocent little queries. But, and its a big but...not in the Sir-Mix-a-Lot kind of butts, however, we quash it fairly quickly...and we talk. I don't want to be unreasonable, I don't want to fight, more importantly, I don't want to be crazy.
I just rather not have the drama and madness. I don't get a thrill from it; I don't enjoy it; I don't feel like it does anything but drag a relationship down. But some people attract drama. Their actions create it. Some of it come from comes from not voicing your needs, concerns, issues and expectations. Some of it comes from acquiescing to the status quo in hopes things will change...but what is clear is there is a lack of real communication and there are some real insecurities. I agree with you, David, so much of the negativity and drama we experience is self created (self in that universal sense and not personal sense), and created unnecessarily.....