David.....
Just read this article on Essence.com. The writer has been with the boyfriend for five years and she still has no ring and he has not proposed. He keeps hinting about marriage but will not commit. She really loves him and loves taking care of his three kids.
What a train wreck. Talk about being patient. My question...... Are you both on the same level of communication? I have experienced this. Another case of two people not one the same page and being totally different. Not even close to being in the same universe.
I can't entirely blame him. She has some skin in the game too. Maybe she had unrealistic expectations. Happens all the time. Two people in the same relationship exist in two different realities. Co-existing simultaneously in divergent worlds! He is content with the situation and she is not. Does she dump him and take a chance on finding a worse knucklehead and being more miserable because you should have stayed with what you had? The Let's Make A Deal of relationships.
Shanita...
This is a case of being led on. She's taking care of his kids...then she is taking care of him. This is a man whose needs are met. Why go to the next level, when he is content where he is. She has hopes, that the more she does, the more she gives will create an epiphany in her man and he will realize her value. That is just wishful, thinking, he will only continue to take what she is freely giving away. She needs to pull a full stop, develop her live and start leaving him hanging.
He may leave, but in reality the only reason he stays is because he can.
David...
Hence the settling phase. He or she settles for what is available and gets comfortable in both his and her skin. There is absolutely no hope in this situation.
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